From the wikipedia page on Nasreddin (Mulla Nasrudin)

The Sermon

Once Nasreddin was invited to deliver a sermon. When he got on the pulpit, he asked, Do you know what I am going to say? The audience replied “no”, so he announced, I have no desire to speak to people who don’t even know what I will be talking about! and left.
The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time, when he asked the same question, the people replied yes. So Nasreddin said, Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won’t waste any more of your time! and left.
Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mulla to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question – Do you know what I am going to say? Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered “yes” while the other half replied “no”. So Nasreddin said Let the half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the half who don’t, and left.

Whom do you believe?

A neighbour came to the gate of Mulla Nasreddin’s yard. The Mulla went to meet him outside.
“Would you mind, Mulla,” the neighbour asked, “can you lend me your donkey today? I have some goods to transport to the next town.”
The Mulla didn’t feel inclined to lend out the animal to that particular man, however. So, not to seem rude, he answered:
“I’m sorry, but I’ve already lent him to somebody else.”
All of a sudden the donkey could be heard braying loudly behind the wall of the yard.
“But Mulla,” the neighbour exclaimed. “I can hear it behind that wall!”
“Whom do you believe,” the Mulla replied indignantly, “the donkey or your Mulla?”

Taste the same

Some children saw Nasreddin coming from the vineyard with two baskets full of grapes loaded on his donkey. They gathered around him and asked him to give them a taste.
Nasreddin picked up a bunch of grapes and gave each child a grape.
“You have so much, but you gave us so little,” the children whined.
“There is no difference whether you have a basketful or a small piece. They all taste the same,” Nasreddin answered, and continued on his way.

Reaching enlightenment

Nasreddin was walking in the bazaar with a large group of followers. Whatever Nasreddin did, his followers immediately copied. Every few steps Nasreddin would stop and shake his hands in the air, touch his feet and jump up yelling “Hu Hu Hu!”. So his followers would also stop and do exactly the same thing.
One of the merchants, who knew Nasreddin, quietly asked him: “What are you doing my old friend? Why are these people imitating you?”
“I have become a Sufi Sheikh,” replied Nasreddin. “These are my Murids [spiritual seekers]; I am helping them reach enlightenment!”
“How do you know when they reach enlightenment?”
“That’s the easy part! Every morning I count them. The ones who have left – have reached enlightenment!”

Nasreddin’s keys

One late evening Nasreddin found himself walking home. It was only a very short way and upon arrival he can be seen to be upset about something. Alas, just then a young man comes along and sees the Mullah’s distress.
“Mullah, please tell me: What is wrong?”
“Ah, my friend, I seem to have lost my keys. Would you help me search them? I know I had them when I left the tea house.”
So, he helps Nasreddin with the search for the keys. For quite a while the man is searching here and there but no keys are to be found. He looks over to Nasreddin and finds him searching only a small area around a street lamp.
“Mullah, why are you only searching there?”
“Why would I search where there is no light?”
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